Boeing has recently come under fire for allegations about the structural integrity of their planes. This shocking news comes just two weeks after an initial whistleblower was tragically found dead in his car only days after providing evidence in a lawsuit against Boeing.

In the wake of the original allegations, a new whistleblower has now provided claims stating that the 787 model of Boeing’s aircraft is susceptible to breaking apart after continued use. In response, Boeing issued a statement saying “We understand that these claims must be troubling, but we can assure you that we are doing everything in our power to cut corners and make as much money as humanly possible”.

These allegations come at a rough time for Boeing, as recently its former CEO and many other executive officers stepped down following criticism against the company’s build quality. We reached out to the former CEO for comment, but he was apparently too busy “moving to Cuba to avoid what’s to come” to comment.

This all started back in January when a 737 flying over Oregon had a total blowout which created a large hole in the side of the plane. One disgruntled passenger had this to say about the incident, “I’m never flying on a Boeing plane again! Not until they give me at least twenty percent off and a first-class ticket!” After a brief moment of consideration, they indignantly added, “I might even settle for ten percent!” Luckily, nobody was seriously injured in the incident, but it did raise many questions about the build quality of Boeings planes.

In an effort to assess the validity of their claims, we reached out to the second whistleblower for comment on this incident. Unfortunately, they were found with several self-inflicted gunshot wounds to the back of their head just hours before they were supposed to air their info in our paper. Boeing gave this remark on their death. “Their loss is felt deeply within our workplace, and we are making efforts to ensure that this never has to happen again.” In a separate statement, the current manager of public affairs for Boeing told us, “Listen, you don’t understand how mentally taxing it can be working at a company like this, some people just aren’t built for it. I’ve always said if you can’t keep your mouth shut, you’re at the wrong damn company.”