Time to live your best BitLife


TyYonna Kitchen, Copy Desk Chief

Sometimes life gets messy. You could easily be born as a result of an affair or you could take too much cocaine and die at 13 years old. What happens when you accidentally murder your school bully or fall into such a huge mountain of debt that you are forced to live with your parents until they die? The answer is: you push through. However, if that is not an option, you can always restart the game and BitLife will generate a new and possibly far worse life.

Since being released to apple users, BitLife has taken over, especially on YouTube. “Challenges” like “living off sugar daddies,” “how big of a scumbag can we be” and the two-game combo of “BitLife controls my sims” have been popping up on the popular platform for a few months without much sign of slowing down. It may be another phase like the amazing cinnamon challenge, or it could stick around for the rest of YouTube’s life and take the place of casual youtuber racism (fingers crossed).

No matter what direction BitLife is headed on YouTube, one thing is for certain: the app is here to stay. With over 78,000 followers on Twitter and even more on Instagram with a whopping 171,000 followers, people can’t help but show love to the life simulator and I have to say that there is not much to hate. Like most life simulators, there is no point other than to simulate life. To some, that may seem like a waste of time, but to others like me, BitLife is a fun waste of time that can provide a healthy-ish distraction from other matters.

The YouTube videos made using the app may not be entertaining (some may even call them boring) but playing the game on my own has been a pretty good experience. Annoying sound effects and weird sound effects aside, you get to experience a cooler version of real life and then some.

Do you want to hook up with some random prostitutes after your spouse calls you a “biznatch”? You can and as an added bonus, in BitLife herpes is completely curable. Are you in debt after spending four years getting a useless degree? Get a sugar daddy and a brand-new car to replace them after they die (in the game of course).

Personally, I use the app to have kids that I can never take care of and blame my simulated characters for procreating. It’s tons of fun. Sometimes, it’s even nice to just relax and live a happy life before making one huge mistake like doing drugs, cheating or even committing a random murder, which inevitably ruins my formerly happy life or kills me.

The app has earned four of five stars in my eyes and is still developing as we speak. Do you want to be remembered as a hero who saved a child from being kidnapped by a hipster? Or maybe you want to be remembered as the person who tried to club a random bus driver to death.