My boyfriend and I have been experimenting with fingering instead of having sex. I want to make sure that I am being safe and I am not at risk for anything. Am I?

Dear Student,

Mutual masturbation is a great, low-risk, sexual activity to explore with your partner. So often, young people – or people at any age, really – start to engage in sexual activity and don’t know how to communicate what brings them pleasure.
This is a good way to for you and your partner to get to know what you both like. And different than using his penis as the exclusive method to bring you pleasure, your boyfriend is likely better to stimulate your clitoris, often overlooked with exclusive penis-and-vagina sex.
The fact that you cannot get pregnant from mutual masturbation just makes it that much better, right?
Believe me, I scoured the internet for some story about someone getting pregnant from their boyfriend fingering them. And alas, I didn’t find one.
As for risk for STIs, mutual masturbation is relatively low-risk. However, if fluids are exchanged – from someone’s hand to another’s genitals – there is some risk for acquiring an STI… If, and only if, someone in the pair has an STI. The best way to know your STI risk for sure is to talk to your partner about their testing and STI history. If you or your partner has never been tested, I encourage you do so. You say you’re experimenting with this instead of having sex, but if sex is looming in your future, it’s best to get tested prior to that.
If you’re engaging in oral sex, there is risk for contracting an STI that way…. Again, if, and only if, one of you has an STI. So, talk to your partner about getting tested. That way, you will know for sure that whatever sex you’re engaging is in risk-free.
I’m psyched that you’re experimenting with your boyfriend and that you’re concerned about your risk – that is a major step in your path to sexual health. Visit the good people at CWU Student Medical and Counseling Clinic or Ellensburg Planned Parenthood for STI testing, contraception and a medical provider who can thoroughly review STI prevention.

How does weed affect sex?

Dear Student,

Great question! So often we talk about the effects of alcohol on sex but pot often gets neglected in the discussion of “sex under the influence.” Many people report an increase in sexual interest after smoking/eating pot, as well as an increase in sensitivity.
Basically, users want sex more and enjoy it more. Of course, people have been found to report the same when drinking alcohol—and it makes sense.
We’re somewhat inhibited when it comes to sex, so if drugs or alcohol lowers your inhibition and relaxes you, you might enjoy sex more than if you were feeling awkward and tense.
But the dose—response relationship is worth noting: just like alcohol, if you’re super stoned, your sexual experience will be negatively impacted and decision—making can be altered.
People may have sex with people they wouldn’t if they were sober and they may not use condoms.
Research also shows that smoking pot can lower men’s sperm count and reduce a woman’s  natural lubrication system, the latter of which can certainly negatively impact their sexual experience.
If you’re a male user who would like to get someone pregnant one day, keeping pot use to a minimum appears to support fertility.
If you’re in an otherwise safe and healthy sexual relationship, I think moderate and occasional pot use can be a safe and healthy aspect of that.
So while pot can enhance your sexual experience, just bear in mind it does not come risk free.