By DANNY SCHMIDT, editor-in-chief

Nobody ever thought I would make it.

My basketball coach cut me from the team during my sophomore year of high school, sending me to junior varsity and keeping my best friend on the varsity squad. 

I was devastated. I went home and cried in my room. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep and sure as hell couldn’t do any homework.

I was a mess.

The next week I decided I was going to work harder than anybody and become the greatest basketball player to ever live. I did, and I won six championships along the way.

OK, that’s actually Michael Jordan’s life story, but how exciting of a senior farewell would that have been?

Joining The Observer during my sophomore year was the best decision I ever made at school. Well, the second best, actually. Telling my friend that I was going to stay in instead of hitting that “crazy” party in Roslyn was probably the best.

This is my 72nd and final issue, and I have loved all the people I have worked with.

Also, a huge shout-out to my parents for being so supportive of me throughout my entire life. Thanks mom, for sending me some money and helping out, then calling me to tell me you were never going to do it again. A text would’ve been just as effective.

Talia, you’re one of the best sisters I could ask for, mainly because I can’t ask for sisters. You are NOT the reason I chose journalism, but thanks for helping me with it along the way. Whoever said your generation is selfish, well they were just lying.

Thank you, Jennifer Green. I had you for most of my core classes and my only regret is that you didn’t teach more print classes. Also, thank you Toby Staab for everything you have done for me.

Thank you Joanna Markell and Mike Gallagher for all of your help. And a BIG, BIG thanks to Josh Petrie. Nobody has done more for my journalism career than you. Emailing you to see if you would be interested in any help was the smartest thing I did in college. I’ve been lucky to soak up everything that I have, and thank you for continuing to help me well after you moved. I’ve loved working at the Daily Record and can’t wait to continue after graduation.

Haley, thank you for everything. You’ve always been supportive and understanding of my awful schedules. You’re the best girlfriend in the world and I love you.

Jordan and Nikolai — J-Soff and Yung Niko — the two best roommates in Ellensburg. I’m going to miss our Tree House nights, but with you (Jordan) visiting all the time next year, we’ll all be good.

And finally, my fellow pioneers: My Observer people. This year has been crazy, and now that it’s over I can finally admit something: SOME of the quotes I put on the quote wall are taken out of context.

Cynthia, thank you for all your help and making my year as EIC a fun one. Some people may not see how hard you work for The O, but I know you were the only person to ever stay in the newsroom after me, just because I asked if you’d read some copy.

Kristi and Jessie, thanks for making the business side of things so easy for me. You guys have been beyond awesome.

I was able to read all of the editors’ senior farewells the editors wrote, and they all had something to do with calling me ratchet. So now it’s my turn.

I’d like to say you’re welcome to all the editors for introducing you all to great music: “Hate Being Sober,” “Treat me Like a Pirate,” and many more. I hope I served as your motivation this year. You will all love my end-of-the-year gift.

News team: Tos, I’ve been lucky to have you since my first quarter as an editor. You were a great reporter and an even better editor. And hey, maybe at your next job you’ll make fewer people cry. That would be cool.

PJ: I should probably apologize for rapping so much at you, but if it wasn’t me, who would it be? Wait a minute, was that trash? HP or see me, and remember, I will come looking for you with Haitians.

Scene team: NetNet: Your ratchet ways are disgusting, and yet so fascinating. You have been a great editor and a solid friend who is always down to trunction. As long as you’re comfortable, it’s OK.

Neezy: Where do I start? Never mind, I got it. You made my switch over to news last year much more smooth and I’m so glad we got to know each other so well. You have been my right-hand (wo)man since we met, and you have been aca-amazing.

Vicky and Slonbo: You guys are nuts. Vick, you are for sure the most ratchet person I’ve ever met, but dammit you know how to utilize white space, and that’s all that counts.  I’ll give you a two-armed hug later. Slonbo, I could apologize for giving you that nickname months before I knew who you were, but I don’t think that would be fitting.

Lando, with an O! Please keep sending me those lovely, life-lesson-filled 3 a.m. texts.

Derek: I’ve really enjoyed watching you grow over the past year, both mentally and physically. Don’t ever be afraid to sneeze. No matter what the other schoolgirls say about you.

Evan: My fellow dubstep dude. Keep gettin’ it. I SAID KEEP GETTIN’ IT. Take those damn headphones out. Remember, you always have something to learn.

Claire, Zolney, Jamie and Max, you guys have been great. Also, disgusting in your case, Claire. Let’s leave the kneepads out of this. Chloe, you seound (sound) great!

Connor: Unfortunately you had to leave us after fall. Keep coming to Ellensburg so we can continue to function. I swear you’ll like the next song more than this one.

I’m not going to say I’m going to miss you, because I won’t. We’ll keep functioning. We’re the most beautiful, dysfunctional family alive. And burn my quote wall!

It’s like my dad told me when I was just a young boy. “Danny,” he said, “take your got damn hands out of your pants. We’re in a McDonald’s.”

Party at the Tree House! Bang bang — Mr. Ratchet/D-Schmeezy OUT!