Ethel: First step, burn the mounds of homework. Second, what personal life? Last, who needs 13 hours of sleep? You can sleep when you’re dead.

Edith: I truly don’t know how to answer this, because I am thriving on two hours of sleep a day. But, why not just get shit done all at once? I mean, full-on, RedBull-fueled, 1 a.m. work session. If this isn’t enough, do it the night before it’s due. That adrenaline hits differently.

Ethel: Bonus points if you end up getting 80% and up on said assignments. It always feels nice to get verification that you could really be a straight A student if you didn’t have procrastination issues.

Edith: But on another note, time management is actually a serious thing. It should be something everybody does, even if it is below-average time management, it is still time management. I just happen to plan on doing my work between the hours of 11 p.m. to 2 a.m., so I mean. Choose whatever time you want.

Ethel: I have to say, from my experience on various working shifts, you really need to have a sleep schedule too. It’s better for your circadian rhythms to have a solid bedtime and wake time, and then just schedule in personal life time. If you have a job on top of everything, just quit the job. Who needs money.

Edith: But if money is too important to just get rid of it, definitely look at ratings of professors. This has helped because I learned what professors require just the bare minimum and which want me to sacrifice my sleep for their homework assignments.

Ethel: I’m still not convinced anyone really needs to sleep. Certainly not 13 hours. Go to the doctor, damn.

Edith: Just do what you want. We don’t control you – if you want to prioritize money, sleep or grades, it’s fine. I’m tired of thinking I’m responsible enough to answer anyways.