By CHANET STEVENSON, assistant scene editor
I used to wonder what it would be like to read my friends’ minds and know what they look like every day. But then I got a Facebook, and now I’m over it.
I know the topic of social networking has been discussed more times than Taylor Swift has changed boyfriends, but just when I think I’ve seen it all, another trend will pop up and make Facebook a topic of conversation again.
So for those interested, or brave enough to read further, the following is a list of Facebook trends I find ridiculous, along with my sad attempt to offer advice on how to make yourself look a little less silly when contributing to these trends.
Please understand that I mean no offense to anyone, but if the self-portrait fits, caption it.
I’m so funny
Nothing screams “This status is funny” more than someone liking their own status. But then again, nothing also screams “I think I’m so funny” more than someone liking their own status. On that same note, liking your own pictures can come off as conceited as well.
So unless you’re okay with coming across that way, I would suggest you refrain from liking your own stuff, with the exceptions to this being photos you’ve been tagged in by other people, or status hacks that you have to admit are funny.
Currently on Facebook, I will admit that I am friends with a cat, a dog and even an adorable Christmas tree named Fred. But while these pets are cute, I often find myself interacting with them more than their owners.
Do I care that you made a Facebook for your pet? No. The bond you have with your pet is your own prerogative. But do I find it strange that your pet comments and likes my updates more than you? Yes, very much so.
My advice here would be to make sure you aren’t trying to hide behind a furry face, especially since you’re not fooling anyone. If you want to talk to someone, just comment as yourself.
“What’s on your mind?”
When you log into Facebook, the status update asks you “What’s on your mind?” But as if being able to write about your feelings wasn’t already sufficient, Facebook allows you to post how you’re feeling.
If you’re not familiar with this trend, I invite you to pay attention to what is posted at the end of any status you read. I guarantee you will find at least one that will have a “feeling…whatever,” followed by an emoji. My favorite one so far has been where the status reads, “Going to bed, goodnight,” followed by, “Feeling tired.”
Seriously? Tell me how you really feel.
I don’t have any advice for this one, only a request. And my request is this: If you’re going to type your status about how you’re feeling, then do me a favor and put a different “feeling” at the end of it. Don’t be so predictable. For example, if you’re status is “Going to the gym,” you might consider putting a “feeling hungry” at the end, just to be funny.
So you agree, you think you’re really pretty?
Ah, the self-portrait photos, or selfies as they’ve become more commonly known, are hands down the most annoying yet amusing pictures I’ve ever seen. I mean even when I type the word “selfies” into a word document, that red line pops up to indicate it isn’t a real word. And personally, I feel that same concept should also apply to the act of taking a photo of oneself and uploading it.
But if you insist on doing so, my advice to you is as follows:
First, make sure the room you’re taking your photo in is clean and free of incriminating evidence left out for the world to see.
I don’t care how cute your outfit or hair looks, if there is a pile of clothes on the floor and a dirty cat litter box visible in the picture, I will judge you. But more importantly, any future employers who check your social media sites will probably also judge you and question if those photos are an indication of your organizational habits.
And secondly, if you’re going to post a quote with your self-portrait, try to pick one that actually correlates with the picture. I can’t even begin to count the amount of selfies I’ve seen where the caption will read something like, “Life is beautiful if you just keep smiling,” but then the photo shows only half of their face, leaving their cleavage or chest to dominate the photo. Uh, that’s a lovely quote and all, but it’s unfortunate I can’t actually see your smile.
Taking pictures of your food and uploading them definitely takes the cake for me as being the dumbest trend on social websites.
Unless there is something unique and out of the ordinary from what a certain food normally looks like, then please, just assume that I already know what your cheeseburger or whatever you’re eating looks like, and refrain from posting a picture of it.
Sick status, dude:
Oh, you’re sick? That’s too bad. But hey, thanks for sharing how many times you’ve vomited today. Maybe next time you can include a sick self-photo of yourself, too.
Trust me that last sentence was just as annoying for me to write as it probably was for you to read.